Underground Bartender Competition

The Second Annual Underground Bartender Competition is going down at Underground on Friday, February 24th. The bartenders at this popular, yet often douchey club, will compete to have their unique cocktails featured on the new spring menu, and you get to help judge the winner! I assume the drinks will be complimentary, however they might be limited.

Fellas, make sure you go with a group of girls, or befriend a few very quickly to ensure that you gain entry and are able to drink as much as possible. I have always been amazed at how quickly and cunningly women are able to maneuver to the front of a crowd to get to the bar, regardless of the number of people waiting in line. They're like running backs breaking through a defensive line, without the brute force, agility, or risk of concussions. Unless you look wealthy or personally know the bartender, there's a 75% chance that the girl who just slid up next to you at the bar will get served before you. It doesn't matter that you've been standing there for 10 minutes gesturing and trying to establish eye contact, inevitably imagining how satisfying it would be to lasso that asshole around the neck with your skinny tie, bang his head against the bar, grab a bottle of scotch, pour yourself a double, and then throw a crinkled up dollar bill in his face! That's not something that I would do, of course, as I am much too classy.

Underground Bartender Competition
Friday, February 24 | 9 - 11 PM
56 W. Illinois

RSVP to VIP@rockitranch.com

Nellcote Opening

Element Collective and CS Magazine are hosting a preview of Nellcôte--a new restaurant in the West Loop from the folks behind Old Town Social--on Thursday, March 1st. Inspiration for this new restaurant was derived from the French Riviera mansion where the Rolling Stones recorded "Exile on Main Street". This is reminiscent of my failed restaurant venture a few years ago. The name and decor were influenced by the place where I recorded many of my greatest hits. It was appropriately named Bedroom Closet. Needless to say, it was a bit ahead of its time.

I didn't post about this event previously because I figured it would be futile. CS Magazine has significantly restricted their guest lists over the last few months. If you didn't receive an email invite directly from them your RSVP will probably be declined, like Bobby Brown when he tried to attend Whitney Houston's funeral (RIP). Of course it couldn't hurt to try!

Nellcôte Opening Reception
Thursday, March 1 | 6 - 8 PM
833 W. Randolph St.

RSVP to rsvpchicago@modernluxury.com by 2/28

Free Shrimp!

TODAY ONLY, participating Panda Express restaurants are giving out free Peppercorn Shrimp with NO PURCHASE REQUIRED! Download and print the printable coupon to get your free scrimps!

FEAST!

The Smart Museum of Art is hosting a reception to celebrate the opening of the new "Feast!" exhibit on Wednesday, February 15th. The reception features a performance by Theater Gates and the Black Monks of Mississippi, Tom Marioni's social artwork The Act of Drinking Beer with Friends is the Highest Form of Art, and the debut of Michael Rakowitz's Enemy Kitchen Food Truck which serves Iraqi cuisine on paper replicas of Saddam Hussein's china (WTF?).

I'm assuming "The Act of Drinking Beer" is some kind of social experiment that actually consists of real beer drinking by the patrons of this event. Otherwise I'm going to introduce my own social artwork--"The Act of Tearing Sh*t Up with Brass Knuckles and Table Legs When I Don't Get My Booze!"

Feast! Opening Reception
Wednesday, February 15 | 7:30 PM - 9 PM
Smart Museum of Art
5550 S. Greenwood Ave

Check out the event details HERE.

No RSVP required (as far as I can tell)

Boardroom Series

Get ready to "experience the whiskey and entrepreneurial story of Mr. Jack Daniel and his whiskey" at the Boardroom Series on Thursday, February 23rd! Only the first 250 people to RSVP will be admitted so you better move quickly. I'm not really sure what this event is about, but I see pictures of Gentleman Jack Tennessee Whiskey on the RSVP page so I'm sold.

Jack Daniels Boardroom Series
Thursday, February 23 | 7 PM
343 W. Erie St

RSVP @ boardroomseries.com

Alicia LaChance Gallery Reception

Museum Works Galleries is hosting the Opening Reception for Alicia LaChance's "Hotaru Spring" gallery on Thursday, February 16th. As is the norm for any respectable art gallery, cocktails and light hors d'oeuvres will be served to make things interesting. Appropriate dress attire ranges from  "bourgeois socialite" to "weirdo-hipster-strip club DJ", also known as "Kanye West Style". RSVP if you'd like to attend!

Alicia LaChance Gallery Reception

Thursday, February 16 | 5:30 - 8:30 PM

Merchandise Mart

222 Merchandist Mart Plaza | Suite 1850

RSVP to rsvp@mwgalleries.com

Bar Louie Grand Opening Specials

A new Bar Louie just popped up in Marina City and it's offering up some damn good food and drink specials to celebrate its grand opening. All of the small plate appetizers are available for $1.00 (limit one per person) and speciality martinis will also cost you $1.00 (unlimited). These particular specials last until Wednesday, February 15th so be sure to take advantage. Those bartenders are going to be serving up more cocktails than a marathon of Mad Men.

Bar Louie Grand Opening Specials
Good through Wednesday, February 15
335 N. Dearborn St (Dearborn and State)

Bash Events Customer Appreciation Party

FREE BEER!!! Does anything else need to be said? Those two words would surely prompt New England Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowski to dance shirtless on a bar table. Hell, I bet you'd do more for much less. I once shaved off my eyebrows and glued them to my face to create a fake Fu Manchu Mustache just so I could get a Krispy Kreme donut! Was it worth it? Absolutely! RSVP for Bash Events' Customer Appreciation Party on Friday, February 10th at Derby Bar & Grill.

Bash Events Customer Appreciation party
Friday, February 10 | 6 - 8 PM
Derby Bar & Grill
1224 W. Webster

RSVP to party@bashevents.com

Time Out Chicago Singles Issue Party

To celebrate its annual Singles Issue, Time Out Chicago is throwing a party for all the lonely single people out there. Good News: RSVP and you get in free! Better News: Cocktails made with St. Germain Liqueur will be served by Bar DeVille's own mixologists! Free TOC events tend to get extremely crowded so be careful fellas, as this could easily turn into a massive sausage fest. Don't tell your bros about this. The less balls, the better.

Celebrate Time Out Chicago's Singles Issues
Wednesday, February 8 | 6 - 8 PM
Bar DeVille
701 N. Damen Ave

Click HERE to RSVP

Macy's Celebrates Black History Month

Celebrate the 100th birthday of African-American artist, Romare Bearden, at Macy's (State Street) on Thursday, February 9th. The reception, sponsored by Gallery Guichard, will include Bearden's works along with art inspired by Bearden, samples of the honored artist's favorite dishes, AND a photo flip book keepsake. Hot damn! <slaps knees> This event sounds like it's gonna be the bees knees! Oh wait, there's no mention of alcohol. But this is an art gallery! They're totally obligated to serve booze. It's unconstitutional to do otherwise.

Just in case, you might want to sneak a flask in by clenching it between your butt cheeks. A good gluteal squeezing technique will enable you to walk like a genuine art snob. No one will know the difference. Look for me in the beret and scarf draped over a cashmere sweater vest with leather shoulder patches. NEXT LEVEL CLASSY!

Romare Bearden Gallery Reception/Birthday Party
Thursday, February 9 | 5:30 PM
Macy's on State Street
111 N. State St
Archives - 7th Floor

To RSVP, please call 1.800.329.8667