Give Me a FAIR Shot

Head over to Province Restaurant on Tuesday, 2/1/11, to try FAIR, the new line up of "Fair Trade certified premium spirits". Enjoy a complimentary cocktail infused with FAIR Goji or Cafe Liqeur, or leave your daintiness at the door and chug a dirty martini with FAIR Quinoa Vodka.

Province Restaurant
161 N. Jefferson
Tuesday, 2/1/11 | 6 - 7 pm
http://www.fairtradespirits.com/North-America/

Didn't see anything about RSVP...

Aquarian Night Out!

It's time for another party at Vertigo Sky Lounge on Saturday, Jan 29th! This one is being thrown in honor of all the Aquarii out there but the free cocktails are for everyone! This will also be a day to celebrate the health of my liver. He's 75 in abused internal organ years and still going strong! RSVP and additional details below...

Heaven and Hell @ The Fifty/50

The Fifty/50 is teaming up with Metromix and the Red Eye to throw a Heaven and Hell Party with a themed costume contest and free alcohols on Friday, 1/28/11 @ 8pm! Whether you're a fastidious religionist or an unapologetic sinner (i.e. most of you) this is the party to go to. Of course I wouldn't post this if free food and alcohol weren't involved. There will be an open bar sponsored by Absolut with free cocktails and "Heaven" and "Hell" mini-burgers from 8 - 9pm. I heard the Heaven burgers are hand-made by the personal chef of St. Peter and the Hell burgers are actually Arby's sandwiches. See more details below...

Taste My Heinie

Heineken and Mystic Celt, the Irish pub in Lakeview founded by a secret cult of clairvoyant leprechauns, are teaming up to throw a Heineken Draft Tasting party. Free beer AND an appetizer buffet sounds like a winner to me, but don't get sassy with the leprechauns. They carry switchblades and they're not very tall so they will aim for your crotch. Stay on your toes...or get on your knees to make it a fair fight.


Heineken Tasting & Appetizer Buffet
Mystic Celt
3443 N Southport Ave
Wednesday, January 26th
7-9pm


Click HERE to RSVP

Your Life is Now Complete!

Modern Art

The Merchandise Mart is opening its doors to the public to unveil its FIRST EVER ART GALLERY!

[pause for orgasm]

This event will take place on Thursday, Jan 27th at 6:30pm. More details and RSVP below!

Absolut Wild Tea

Absolut is celebrating the release of its new flavor, Absolut Wild Tea, at Venue One tonight. Wild Tea and vodka? WTF? It's only a matter of time before they have a vodka sports drink. Be on the lookout for Absolut Athlét.

Introducing...Absolut Wild Tea
Monday, January 24
9pm - 12am

Venue One
1044 W. Randolph St

RSVP to absolutwildteachi@legacymp.com

Hit the G-Spot

The Chicago Dramatists have a new play coming out called "Bordello", and they're celebrating with a night of free drinks and hors d'oeuvres at the G Boutique in Bucktown. G Boutique is a place where ladies can stock up on lingerie, erotica, sex toys, videos, office supplies and other sexy goods with out the weird, sleazy atmosphere of a typical men's sex shop. Make your way to G Boutique to cavort with the cast of the show and buy something erotic while you're there. All proceeds benefits the Chicago Dramatists. This event is free but they'll take donations at the door if you're in a giving mood (sexually?)

G Boutique
131 North Damen Avenue, Bucktown
Friday, Jan 21st | 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM
773-235-1234

Celebrate Waitangi - The New Zealand Wine Fest

The Kenmore Live Studio series will host a show in honor of Waitangi Day, the New Zealand holiday for [click here to find out what it's about] on February 5th, 2011. Of course this wine fest shouldn't be confused with the New Zealand Whine Fest, when scores of New Zealanders ran outside with torches and pitchforks to protest the relocation of Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" [mostly true story].

Culinary experts from Sunda will prepare several dishes paired with various sexually curious wines and share them, along with recipes and tips, to everyone in the studio audience (must be 21+ to attend, duh). The entire event will also be streamed live on Facebook so try not to get so drunk that you pass out and wake up with a scrotum drawn on your face with a permanent marker. Waitangi brings the frat boy out of everyone. See RSVP and additional info below.

Heat Up Tweet Up

You know what's a great combination? Chili, hot apple cider and hot chocolate. Especially if you're fond of having awful gas when you go to bed.  Throughout the week of Jan 17th Rockit Bar and Grill is celebrating its 3rd Annual ChiliFest with unique chili recipes served at both locations (River North and Wrigleyville).  Additionally, Rockit Wrigleyville is having its Heat Up Tweet Up event on Friday, Jan 21st from 7 - 9pm. RSVP to sample various sexy chili concoctions and warm up with hot beverages for FREE!

Rockit Bar and Grill - Wrigleyville
3700 North Clark Street
Heat Up Tweet Up
Friday, Jan 21st | 7 - 9pm
RSVP to manny@rockitbarandgrill.com

Free Dessert on Public House

The folks behind Bull & Bear just opened up a new joint last week, Public House, and they're pulling out all the stops to encourage people to check it out. DJ Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan's ex-lady lover, will be on the turntables on Saturday, 1/15 at 11pm. Additionally the restaurant/bar is having a FREE dessert tasting on Tuesday, Jan 18th from 6 - 8 pm. Listed below are some of the desserts that Public House will offer courtesy of dessert mastermind, Mindy Segal. Sadly the delicacy* in the picture above is not available for sampling, nor is it legal or safe to eat.